| Sins of my Fathers |
[Nov. 13th, 2009|09:56 am] |
I don't know what my ancestors have done.
I don't know what my grandparents have done.
I don't know what my parents have done.
But I feel like I'm paying for sins that I have not committed. If there is retribution to be sought, allow me to take the impact of it all.
But do not let my parents suffer.
Do not let my sister suffer.
And for all that is sweet and holy, do not let my niece suffer.
I don't know what any of us have done, I don't care. I just want this to stop. |
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| Letters: P90X |
[Nov. 11th, 2009|09:58 am] |
[from: Doorknobdude ]
[to: undisclosed recipient]
Is there anything that will decrease the mass of your legs? My thighs are so big squirrels bring me their nuts to crack. Seriously, I wake up in the morning and I see them all at my porch with those sad squirrely eyes, holding up their nuts.
Gawd there's a nut joke in there somewhere but it's too early to crack one.
Oh! You see what I did there?
Anyway, I saw some of the routines for P90x and said, FUCK THAT. You have to be ripped to begin with. It's like those damn pantene pro-v commercials where the women have flawless hair. It's like they picked out women with already gorgeous hair to do their commercials to say, hey you can have hair like this if you use our product when those women who are in the commercial already have flawless hair to begin with.
Yeah, whatever, YOUR MOM. |
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| [FTP] WTF Weekend: That Was So Last Halloween and Buttonwillow Santa Barbara |
[Nov. 9th, 2009|11:16 am] |
The biosuits I was picking up for our costumes were used. Kinda scary. On one hand, I highly doubt they would sell anything that is still contaminated, but the thought that this suit was once possibly exposed to killer chemicals and infectious diseases did cross my mind. If I grow an extra pair of testicles, I’ll let you know. Hell, I’ll put it on Youtube.
We were the Anti-Swine Flu Team, complete with biosuits, goggles and vials of Swine Flu Vaccine aka 100 proof vodka with syringes to apply the “shots.” It was totally a hit – when we weren’t “OMG GHOSTBUSTERS” or “LOLBEASTIEBOYS.”
Warren and I decided to hit up Vegas on Sunday for a turnaround and catch up with the others. When we hit state line we grabbed a sixer and downed three beers a piece before we hit the strip so by the time we got to the hotel room we were nice and saucy. Kids don’t try this at home, or anywhere else for that matter.
Lavo was cool, despite the fact that I spent most of my time outside when I finally did go in and join the group groove, I had a blast, up until Fez showed up. Now I don’t know if he was spinning or just hanging out with the DJ but he kept getting on the mic every fuckin 20 seconds to say something. Dude, stop interrupting the song, just let the music play, you’re fuckin annoying. Guess he wasn’t doing much acting on that 70’s show after all.
We hit up Drais afterward, greased the cigar girl a few bucks for free passes for the ladies, got a gander at Optimus Prime and that giant fuzzy Cheshire Cat Looking guy from Where the Wild Things Are in a costume brawl when Michael Jackson showed up and kicked their asses. Then it was a parade of gay men and dancing moonrakers, when Warren and I decided it was time to go home or die driving there in a losing battle to slumber.
~ * ~
This passed weekend Warren and I decided it would be fun to catch up with Marv after his Santa Barbara Half Marathon. It’s got that coastal town feeling to it, like San Deigo, which is something we should have kept in mind when we stopped at Buttonwillow to eat at Carl’s and realized we were way off course. Two and a half hours to be exact. 5 North, straight shot, I didn’t question it. In my mind it sounded right, but we probably would have ended up a few miles outside of San Jose before we realized if we didn’t stop to eat. Without sounding too existential it really was more about the journey and getting outside of LA city limits for a change of pace, which we succeeded in doing, but the downside to it was, well, Santa Barbara just felt like Orange County or San Diego. Granted we were probably setting ourselves up for the local easy stop or the tourist trap setting on Main Street – I mean that would be like us directing folks to Old Town Pasadena or 3rd Street Promenade. These are the places you hang out at when you’re not 21, from out of town or just point all the non-cool people to when you need to send them to some generic place to do stuff.
The highlight of the evening, or the downfall depending on who you talk to, was when Warren was totally violated by some drunk guy, so much that I totally panicked for a few seconds. My instinct was to grab his hand and drag him out of there or step in between the two to break up space, but it was Warren and not some girl and it was a guy that was hitting on him and it was – it was so strange. Either I was frightened by it, or caught in some eerie fascination of what was unfolding. Then at Madison’s, some chola threw some shit at the bartender right next to us and things almost went gansta. I guess the excitement really fired up this random drunk guy, who went on a freak-everyone-at-the-bar-air-humping-spree. Of course Warren was the first to be accosted. It was so his night.
The drive home initially was rough, we went through three or four cycles of getting drunk and sobering up that day – with drinking starting at 4 pm, which is really taxing on the body we discovered, but after a few shakes of Monster and doing the ABC’s of name that boob, we made it home.
My favorite: Dirigibles and chesticles. How I never heard of chesticles I’ll never understand. Pure genius.
Originally Posted on Fast Track Prototype. |
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| In a Mood This Morning |
[Nov. 9th, 2009|09:47 am] |
The feeling of humiliation still strongly lingers.
- - -
I'm missing out on life so I can create a new one.
- - -
I realize that I'm in a funk this morning. I'm gonna work on changing it around. There's a mist of mal floating around my head and I need to step out of it. It's nothing but destructive tendencies of dying habits and old sick cycles.
Honestly though, it's not so much that I'm feeling these feelings, I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that my sleep cycles were thrown for a loop this weekend.
I'm also worried that I'm developing a habit for cigarettes.
Sleep, I think once I reset my sleep clock I'll be fine. |
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| For You? Yes. |
[Nov. 4th, 2009|11:49 am] |
All you have to do is ask.
Ask me to wait. |
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| Empire State of Mind |
[Nov. 4th, 2009|01:31 am] |
A few thoughts before we part...
In New York,
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of,
Theres nothing you can’t do,
Now you’re in New York,
These streets will make you feel brand new,
The lights will inspire you,
Lets here it for New York, New York, New York |
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| Grossly BLAH |
[Nov. 3rd, 2009|12:58 pm] |
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Someone please get all these sweet, warm and googly feelings out of my system. I'm mean and cold! Grrrrr! Ew, what is this!? |
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| Barkskin |
[Nov. 3rd, 2009|11:49 am] |
A few years ago, I was told that in order to fulfill my destiny, I needed to toughen my skin. That things were going to be thrown my way and if I couldn't deal with it, I wouldn't make my mark.
Little did I know that the repercussions of having bark-like skin, no pun intended, would also leave me jaded and mean.
I hope I still have a heart when this battle is over.
~ * ~
I'm done waiting. Hell I've been done waiting and now I've become that guy that says he's done waiting but still waits, looks out into the horizon for a glimmer of hope and is left disappointed when it's nothing but dark clouds and emptiness. I've moved on in terms of my fate and the things I want, granted it's a slow boat but I'm moving regardless.
I'm done waiting for people - specifically, girls. Not that I have been waiting mind you, but I guess you can say that I've been a bit hesitant to close the commitment door in hopes that bigger and better would open up given my opportunities. Despite what my heart sings, I've been, looming I guess you can say at the possible prospects that may come over the hill with big smiles and fancy styles.
But the truth is, I'm left surrounded by batches of unavailable women who tell me that they want to be available to me, hearkened with their big ol' buts. Not butts. But buts, as in, but, but, but it's complicated, or it's something or what the fuck ever.
I got one crying, one denying and the other one just vying.
You see that girl over there? Things have been happening, she's awesome for me, I'll see you broads later, send me an invite to your wedding. Put me down for a +1. |
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